The loneliness of abortion

Cradle My Heart Radio welcomes Monica Miller on Sunday 9-22-13 ~ listener discretion advised

[UPDATE 9-23-13 podcast posted]

When I chose abortion at the age of twenty-three in 1978 I was completely oblivious to the bigger context of my choice. I was so disconnected from the cultural and politial debate (and my own emotions for that matter) that I felt as if I were the only woman in America to make that choice. My isolation was encouraged by those who counseled me toward my choice: No one ever needs to know. It will be as if you were never pregnant. It’s not a baby yet, just tissue.

The isolation didn’t work in my favor in the aftermath either. I continued to believe the lies–it wasn’t a child nor a baby nor even a human being at all. It was just a pregnancy I chose to end. This conclusion was so unsatisfying on a spiritual level because my heart knew it wasn’t true. Like many others, to resolve this internal conflict I believe I emotionally attached to the grief I wasn’t allowed to feel much less express.

One of the things which broke through the haze of half-truths, hurt, and lies was having my heart broken by photographs of fetal remains.

I struggle with the issue of the use of these images in the public square. While I believe they can have a deep and lasting impact as a silent witness of the truth about abortion, as they did for me, I don’t display them because I try to first do no harm. People recovering from postabortion trauma might be shattered by seeing the images–some cannot even withstand seeing fetal photographs of intact growing children. These women and men already know what abortion wrought and their overwhelming grief can easily be triggered leading to despair.

So while I won’t show the pictures, I do want to provide the opportunity for you our listeners to speak with the woman who is responsible for retrieving, photographing, and ultimately burying the remains of thousands of children as part of her mission to defend and protect the unborn.

Monica Miller

Monica Miller

Monica Migliorino Miller, Ph.D began her prolife work at the age of 23. She is the currently Director of Citizens for a Prolife Society [Warning: website displays graphic content] which works to expose the results of abortion. Dr. Miller is also an Associate professor of Theology and Religious Studies at Madonna University, Livonia, Michigan.

Her work was covered in an extensive feature in the New York Times in 2009. She told her own story in 2012 in her book Abandoned: The Untold Story of the Abortion Wars. It’s a tale of counseling women outside abortion facilities–followed by arrest, confinement in jail and prosecution. It’s also a chronicle of the ethical and moral battle for hearts and minds.

What struck me most is Dr. Miller’s conclusions about the suffering of the victims of abortion–not only the loss of life, the loss of liberty having been denied self-determination, and the loss of status in the eyes of the courts which basically declares the unborn to not even exist–but she correctly concludes that those who are aborted suffer above all from loneliness. Without mother or father, they die alone only to be discarded as medical waste. When my dormant conscience was activated to this reality, I think this was the most difficult thing to accept about my own participation in abortion. I had chosen to abandon my own flesh and blood.

This is going to be a difficult conversation. It’s hard to even write these words having been the one to forsake my unborn child.

What do you think? Have you seen the images? Do you advocate their use to break through the denial people have about what abortion really is and what it actually does to the bodies of the unborn? Please leave a comment below and we’ll include those in the discussion on Sunday’s broadcast.

This is a conversation worth having, and one I hope will lead to hope. There is much to be gained by gazing into truth even when we would rather avert our eyes. I promise to lead a sensitive discussion and to do my best to limit any graphic descriptions of what Monica has seen and documented, knowing that unresolved trauma can be easily re-awakened to re-wound. And if you feel it wouldn’t be helpful, please plan to join us on September 29 and on our future programs.

That said, I hope you will listen. I invite you to join us as a way to honor those who’ve been forgotten after they were forsaken. Perhaps in doing so, some small aspect of our own loneliness may even come to an end.

Join us Sunday September 22 at 9 pm ET on Cradle My Heart Radio with Kim Ketola and our guest Dr. Monica Miller

Kim Ketola


  1. Reply


    September 22, 2013

    I’m a nurse, I’ve had an abortion, I’ve had 3 children, and I’ve never seen fetal parts like Monica held on the TV interview. I truly thought having a very early abortion would restore my life to what it was before the pregnancy, and believed that the 6 week fetus was a blob of tissue with no discernable parts. The movie was amazingly effective in helping me to realize the utter reality and violence of abortion. The pictures are effective too, but somehow seeing the little parts held in a human hand made a powerful impact. I’m so very grateful for the healing I have found recently through reading Cradle My Heart, and listening every Sunday to Cradle My Heart broadcast. Without Kim Ketola shedding insight, education and wisdom on how exactly abortion damages a woman’s spirit and emotions, and how she recovered with God’s healing, I would have been guilt-stricken and undone by seeing this. I believe if I could have seen that taped interview with Monica beforehand, I would not have chosen abortion. I believe it should be shown in every “ethical issues” class going on in the country. Thank you, Kim, without your program we would never hear about Monica’s work. Thank you, Monica for your fine efforts. May God richly bless you both.

    • Reply


      September 22, 2013

      Jane, Thank you for sharing your story. I’m intrigued that your training as a nurse still did not help you know the medical truth. Some of those who advised me to abort with the “just tissue” rationale also had background and training as nurses. I’m very humbled to know our ministry has helped you grow in healing and so grateful to the Lord for bringing you this far. God bless you and thanks for your thoughtful comments.



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