Growing faith after abortion

I want to have greater faith. And I understand it’s a matter of my heart. But I am still learning how to work my heart, how to cultivate the soil of my heart so that I can grow closer to God.

Somehow, I think that as I’ve been learning to let God cradle my heart, I sometimes take on a passive attitude, “All I have to do is believe God and my faith will grow.” To some extent that is true. But Jesus said that our hearts are soil that we must cultivate (Luke 8:5-18). Yes, God has done it all for us in Christ, but how will we respond? That’s what the cultivation is all about. To cultivate soil is hard work. But working to cultivate our hearts is the way to have a fruitful relationship with God.

After abortion, the hardest work many of us have to do is to overcome the lie that we can simply choose to exercise power over life and death. But this task also carries a great reward. The truth is that God alone deserves the right to determine life and death. His rights supercede the rights conferred on us by other people. To agree that he rules is to make him the Lord of our lives. But if we don’t see this and work in our hearts to set aside our right to ourselves and to terminate the lives of our children, we will stay trapped in the lie that says our rights are equal to those of God. That mindset is bound to lead to despair as life unfolds before us and we are forced to accept the fact that indeed we are not God. The tragedy is that so many of us fail to see that the lie is the problem. We keep trying to take life by force, growing more bitter in our most secret hearts with each new failure and each new evidence that God alone is sovereign over the affairs of humankind.

God wants us to seek him, trust him, rely on him. He has said that he is looking for one thing from us: that we would love him with all our hearts, and that we would love others as ourselves. That may be the hardest work that you will ever do! Like me, you may have to plow up your old beliefs and admit that you have built your life on a rocky surface when you chose abortion or some other self-reliant sin. You may have to relocate your most basic beliefs onto a more solid ground where faith can actually take root. And you most certainly will have to work to break the ground.

But Jesus has promised to bear the yoke with you and for you. And his promise cannot fail. The closer you stay to him, the more your faith will grow.

Kim Ketola

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